Minutes of a Millennial

The first thing they teach you in finance is to pay yourself first. As a new business owner, I am fully recognizing the importance of this concept. It’s a precautionary tactic to ensure that personal expenses are taken care of before anything else, and to test if the business can operate independently. It means that it is okay to give less to the company if that means there is more for you. I love this rule for business, but even more for life.

It’s taken me years to realize that the first person who should have a share of my time, my resources, my presence, and my life is me.

Why?

Because I am the only essential piece of this operation.

Think of it this way, if you’re operating a small business and all of sudden you drop to the ground, can the business continue? No.

Likewise, if you’re supporting a family or taking care of friends and you fall out, can you continue to support them? No. So that means the wellbeing of the things you love so much in a way depend on your own wellbeing. YOU are actually the person you should take care of first, even if helping others is your priority.

Just like in business matters, the first fear is what if I don’t have enough to cover other expenses after I pay myself – a valid fear.

If focusing on you means you don’t have enough time to solve other people’s problems, then you are not the solution they need. When businesses don’t have the resources to fully fund business ventures, they downsize or stop the venture to protect and secure the main business operation. In this moment, YOU are the main business operation. You can do the same with people or things who are sucking too much of your energy. This is the perfect time to stop trying to save others and worry about saving yourself.

I’m learning to take care of me first, but every now and again I find myself in the “just this once” loop. Let me help them just this once and then they’ll figure it out. Let me take on one more work project before I request time off. Let me fulfill this one favor before I focus on my needs. This all sounds nice but the only problem with this plan is that it is never once. There will always be more projects and more favors needed. As you take on more of these requests, your personal needs will fall lower and lower on your to-do list.

Serving others has always been lifted up as the mark of virtue and goodness, and it is truly a blessing to be able to help someone. But what happens when other people’s needs begin to run your life? What happens when helping others becomes your identity? You risk ruining your first and most important assignment – you.

Boundaries are necessary here to filter not only what comes in, but what goes out. It may seem selfish at first to prioritize yourself, but it is for the better. Think of how much more you will be able to give to your family, your friends, and your community when you are fully replenished.